An uninvited houseguest
Self-loathing has popped into my life on more than one occasion. Initially, it started out with short visits: a pity party over a mishap at work that day or a week of overindulging in fast food and sweets. Then it progressed to more long-term stays. I’d mismanage my money and find myself in a financial rut for weeks on end; fail to exercise and nourish my body with enough fresh food and water; and I’d allow men of questionable character into my bed when I knew they didn’t have my best interest at heart. To say the least, self-loathing had definitely made itself at home.

Emotional housecleaning
It has taken me several years to clean up my self-love act. For starters, I had to get clear about what it means to really love yourself. Self-love is more than getting a mani-pedi every week or treating yourself to the latest designer handbag. While many of us say we love ourselves, if we paid closer attention to our thoughts and actions and how we treated our bodies, we’d soon realize we’re not as loving as we claim. In fact, if we did really “love ourselves,” we wouldn’t continuously experience self-doubt, sacrifice “me time” for “we time,” settle for unsatisfying jobs and relationships, criticize our body parts, and overindulge in food we know is not good for us.

The Four-fold path
I admit that the journey to self-love is no cakewalk. It takes lots of intense self-evaluation, forgiveness, personal reflection, and radical acceptance. Along my own journey to loving me, I have experienced several emotional breakthroughs. When I began getting real with myself about the reasons behind my poor choices and forgave myself for my misbehavior, my life changed. My thoughts, actions and decisions all started to shift.

So, as you begin to steadily make your way to this place called self-love, be patient and don’t beat yourself up about what might seem like a lack of progress. There are going to be a lot of twists and turns: breakdowns and breakthroughs. However, the key to staying on track is believing you’re well worth the wait.