How to Unbreak Your Heart
Remember the fairy tales you heard as a little girl: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, and Cinderella. Mr. Prince Charming would gallop in on his white horse; rescue the helpless, damsel in distress; and they’d live happily ever after. Many of us women are still planning our lives around that magical day when our own prince charming arrives. But in real life, there’s no such thing as “happily ever after.” Problems arise and things don’t always go according to plan, especially when it comes to matters of the heart.
Envision this scenario: You meet a man. He’s handsome, charming, gainfully employed and attends church regularly – Mr. Good on Paper. After weeks of flirting, he finally asks you on a date for a little dining, a little dancing, and some stimulating conversation. You of course, agree. During the date, he gently takes your hand in his, looks into your eyes, and confesses he’s looking to settle down with that one special woman. Your heart melts. Could he be the one?
Fast-forward one month and things couldn’t be better. The two of you are spending all your time together and your heart is telling you he’s the one, so you give in to your fleshly desires. There’s just one teeny tiny issue: He failed to mention that being monogamous isn’t necessarily his forte. While he loves the idea of commitment, he can’t seem to follow through on it. And this becomes painfully apparent as you discover he not only has two baby mamas, but also a third child on the way.
Funny, how we seem to find out about things after the fact. After we’ve mentally planned out our wedding and picked out china patterns. Or had 12 rounds of mind-blowing sex. As women, we want to believe that Mr. Tall Dark and Handsome is “the one,” so we ignore all the cues from within that tell us otherwise.
“Keep your heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life” (Proverbs 4:23).
The Bible cautions us to be careful about who and what we subject our hearts to. (I can’t count how many times I’ve learned this lesson the hard way.) We always fall short when we let our emotions (and our hormones) weigh in on whether our new beau is worthy of our heart. It takes time to form a genuine relationship and once you give up the goods, it’s hook, line and sinker. Even if we later discover the guy is a loser, we still find ourselves craving his companionship – whether we want to or not. Before we invest too much of ourselves into a relationship, it’s important that we get to know a man… and most importantly, THE MAN (God).
Periodically, your attitude of having a mate may fluctuate between desperation and patiently waiting for God’s timing. Now that I’m in my thirties, I find myself swaying between being happily single and hearing the tick of my biological clock. However, being single is the perfect time to be about God’s business, developing your talents and realizing your life’s purpose. After all, who has time to wallow in loneliness and self-pity when you’re out there making a difference in the world and dedicating yourself to something greater than yourself?
But I admit, it’s not always easy to resist the allure of every fine, six-foot, bald-headed man I meet. (Okay, I have a thing for tall men with bald heads.) During times like these, I simply cry out to the Lord and say:
“Please God help me resist the urge to jump on Mr. Hella Fine and do naughty things; in Jesus’ name. Amen.”
Don’t be afraid to be real with God. Prayer is not a time to be prim and proper and merely recite memorized scriptures. The more honest you can be with God and with yourself, the more intense your Divine connection will be. As you strengthen your relationship with the Creator and focus on cultivating His presence in your everyday life amazing things will happen: You won’t be so consumed with chasing after love; you’ll start to feel more loved and less needy; and you’ll experience more inner joy and contentment.
Photo credit: Micheledias via Flickr.
