Walking the Path of Transformation Without Breaking a Heel
I discovered my first self-help book at age 15. During my teen years and early twenties, I read countless books on how to set and achieve goals, break bad habits, and attract Mr. Right. But no matter how hard I tried, I still came up short: I dated bad boys, drank like a fish on weekends, and partied like a rock star.
On my 28th birthday, I decided that the “Sex and the City lifestyle” I worshipped had run its course. After a series of relationship mishaps and career blunders, I had hit rock bottom. And this time I couldn’t rely on a book, a man, or a cocktail to soften the blow. In my last attempt to find solace, I hit the ground and began to pray.
With my Catholic school days long behind me, God had become more like a distant cousin, who while I knew He existed, I didn’t write or keep in touch. But after many failed attempts to fill the deep black hole that I felt within – with a career, alcohol and men – it was time to try something new. This was the beginning of my on-again, off-again relationship with God.
While I loved Him with all of my heart, I found some of His rules hard to follow:
1. No sex before marriage (1 Corinthians 6:17-20).
2. No wine or strong drink (Proverbs 20:1).
For me, the idea of abstaining from sex and cocktails was like asking me to stop breathing. After all, I was a 20-something single girl in a world where sex is as routine as brushing your teeth. While I was never the promiscuous type, I did enjoy getting my “feet” wet from time to time. Despite my initial protest, I agreed. Even though, I have fallen off the bandwagon and onto a pony on more than one occasion, I’m happy to report I’ve been “clean” for almost one year.
I must admit, refraining from sexual activity gives a woman a whole new perspective on life. Celibacy will not only make you more productive–as sex can be a bit of a distraction–but it will also take your exercise regimen to another different level. Let’s be honest. You have to find some way to work off that sexual energy.
On a more serious note, abstaining from sex and alcohol was the beginning of some much-needed healing. What began as a simple act of obedience sparked an inner transformation and a life-long love affair. Deepening my relationship with God helped me to realize that we’re not here to simply occupy space; we’re spiritual co-creators designed to fulfill a specific purpose.
So, I decided to give up my five-year plan, toss the self-help books, and submit my life to a higher purpose. Funny thing is, I had spent the majority of my life trying to change from the outside in –relying on goal lists, action plans and willpower. Never did it occur to me that the only One who could transform my life was within.
Great post!