Swimming Naked: Tapping Into Your Own Personal Power
“Power is the ability to take one’s place in whatever discourse is essential to action and the right to have one’s part matter.” -Carolyn Heilbrun
Yesterday, I picked up the September issue of O, The Oprah Magazine. After reading the article, “31 Ways of Looking at Power,” I started reflecting on the “true” definition of power. Society equates power with social status and material wealth. However, over the years, I’ve learned that real power is not something we acquire through possessions or a fancy job title. Our ability to be powerful is in direct proportion to our willingness to take a stand for what we believe in, serve our community, and be comfortable in our own skin.
As women, we often lose our power when we settle for an unhealthy relationship, an unfulfilling job, or when we constantly compare ourselves to others. During my early twenties, I was constantly fixated on receiving approval from others: my parents, friends, society and peers. It took me years to finally discover the real me and to not look to others to validate how I lived my life.
Up until that point, my life was one big ol‘ mess. I hopped from relationship to relationship and from job to job in search of the “one person” or the “one thing” that would make my life complete. Unfortunately, that search led me down some pretty dark roads: depression, attempted suicide and an abusive relationship. Yet, it is because of those experiences that I have developed the capacity to love myself and show compassion for others.
Reflecting back on those challenging times, I realize that much of my inner turmoil stemmed from a lack of self-love. I defined my worth by acceptance from others. I thought if only I were prettier, had more money, or had a better job the broken pieces of my life would “magically” fall into place like some storybook fairytale. But it wasn’t until I gave up this neurotic need to fix myself that I began to cultivate a strong sense of self.
For the past two years, I’ve been on an intense spiritual journey. The focus of my life has become less about resolving or hiding my imperfections and more about serving others. Throughout this experience, I’ve discovered that life is not about what we achieve or even whom we help along the way; life is about who we become in the process.
The greatest power a woman can inherit is recognizing her ability to be the authoress of her own life, and the moment you start writing your own life script you’ll develop a character of influence, purpose and unshakable inner strength. So live fully, laugh often, and leave a legacy.
