Confessions of an Overachiever
As a self-proclaimed busybody and workaholic, the concept of just “being” isn’t an easy one for me to grasp, especially in a society where relaxing is considered being lazy. From birth, it’s been drilled into my head to do more, to work harder, and to always strive to be the best. However, it’s questionable at times who’s best I am attempting to be: my personal best or “the best” according to society.
Not too long ago, I found myself competing in one of the most unlikely places: yoga class. With each pose, I prided myself on my ability to do each one with ease and frequently checked around the room to see how I measured up against my yoga counterparts. And just when I was prepared to give myself a high five for outperforming the rest of the class, I toppled over and fell on the floor. Amidst my slight embarrassment, it occurred to me: Who was I really competing with and why?
One downward dog later, I tried to regain my focus. But this time the goal was not to outdo everyone, it was to allow myself to be present without judgment. That yoga class was the first of many times I would give myself permission to set aside my unruly ambitions and just be. Since then, I have discovered the object of my competition was not my fellow classmate; it was my inner critic. My inner critic had convinced me that in order be accepted, I had to be perfect. However, it was this same quest for perfection that caused me to work until I was sick and endure many sleepless nights.
After a lot of soul searching, instead of trying to be perfect, I now simply do my best. Contrary to what many of us who suffer from perfectionism think, the world does not end if you’re not the greatest at everything. In fact, the world around you opens up and you experience it more fully when you’re present and not consumed by constant striving. So, now when I hit my yoga mat, I check my ego at the door. Then I take a deep breath, exhale and savor each moment as it unfolds.
